Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
