I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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