living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I stole a fireplace last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
