I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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