my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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