I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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