im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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