i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i would punch a child for taco bell
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
