fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
