I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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