i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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