It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
