Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
