Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
