i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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