I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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