3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
