You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
