just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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