There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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