I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
