Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
