just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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