I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize