If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
