I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
