you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
