we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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