I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
