Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
