Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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