everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
