He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
