I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
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I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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