So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
