Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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