4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
