I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
