What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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