pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
