i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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