i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
