nut hugger
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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