Screwed.edu
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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