you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize