Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize