If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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