12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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