either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
