Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize