On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
