jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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