Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
