I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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