In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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