i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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