sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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