Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So vagazzling was a success
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
