so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
