I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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