let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
how drunk are you?
Several
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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